Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
