He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she smelled like a LAN party
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You took a bar mat shot.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
