I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
