Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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