apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
