my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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