You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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