3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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