guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
