Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
