You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
