are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Your penis caused this!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
