I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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