There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
