ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
