we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She told me I should be a condom model.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
And then he peed in my hair
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