A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
