I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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