Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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