I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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