He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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