shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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