he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
