Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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