so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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