If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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