brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
