I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I lost the right to judge tonight
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
