but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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