my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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