I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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