Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
