Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
