i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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