sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
