she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We have started to decorate penises.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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