Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
operation have a gay friend backfired
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
did i just pee glitter
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
