dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
