Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
