You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
