No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
