Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
