At least make sure they are 18
Why
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
