Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I did not marry a roomba.
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