I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
