I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he puts the penis in happiness.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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