my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
