at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
