I am puke
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
