Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
